


Lovely

by Pastel_is_punk



Category: Phandom
Genre: AU, Eventual Smut, High School, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Punk Dan, Slow Burn, potential Phil/Hazel, punk!dan - Freeform, teen phan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-13
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-06-08 04:16:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6838708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pastel_is_punk/pseuds/Pastel_is_punk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil Lester is a friendly, outgoing, bubbly 17 year old who recently moved towns when he and his mum decide they need a fresh start from their previous heartbreaks and tragedies. There he meets Dan, a punk loner that everybody avoids, believing he's bad news. Something Dan himself believes. Phil ray-of-sunshine Lester takes it upon himself to show Dan the good in the world and himself. Potential trigger warnings, and future smut.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure how many chapters this will be, but enjoy :D  
> Any and all comments welcome :)

“You’re in my seat,” a monotone voice said.

Phil looked up, surprised. He had come to school with at least twenty minutes before class had started, allowing him time to actually find the classroom. Yesterday had been a disaster, and he had been late to every lesson due to not knowing where they were. Twenty minutes may seem dramatic, but Phil wasn’t taking any chances. While the corridors weren’t as empty as he thought they would be, the classrooms were.

“Oh, sorry about that,” he said with a carefree smile.

He slid his things across the table and stood up to take the seat next to him. The stranger gave a quiet hum which Phil couldn’t decipher. The tall boy slumped back in the seat straight away, creasing his black leather bomber-style jacket. His straight dark brown fringe covered his eyes as he kept his head down, his dark eyes focused on his scratched phone.

“I’m Phil, by the way,” Phil said, leaning on his crossed arms on the desk. His entire focus was on the admittedly attractive boy he’d never seen before.

The boy said nothing for a moment but Phil could tell he had the other’s focus as the tapping on his phone had stopped, his thumb hovering over the screen.

“Dan,” he eventually replied, his voice rough.

He went back to tapping on his phone, reaching into his pocket with his free hand. Phil brought out his own phone once it was obvious Dan had no interest in making conversation. The next time Phil glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, Dan was wearing headphones. They were obviously crappy quality as the faintly familiar tune sounded tinny and awful. As they sat killing the time before class started, Phil found himself humming along to the music coming from the headphones.

“…I’ll take you on a ride, I will make you believe you –,”

“You’re new here, right?”

Phil was so engrossed in the little sketches he was drawing in his book that he hadn’t noticed the music stop. He looked to Dan who was still looking down at his phone, but his headphones were astray on the desk.

“Yeah, I started yesterday,” Phil replied, his eyes and pencil going back to his drawing, his attention still on the conversation.

“Figures,” Dan muttered.

“What do you mean?” Phil asked, tilting his head to the side but still looking at his page.

“Nothing.”

Phil waited for Dan to say something else, but when he didn’t, Phil turned his head towards him. He let his eyes wander, taking in small, useless details, like how the headphones on Dan’s desk were now fully out of his phone and lying across the desk as if they were carelessly discarded, and how his body was still in the slumped position but leaning slightly to the left, closer to Phil. He wondered if the boy even knew what he was doing or if it was a subconscious move.

Dan must have felt Phil’s eyes on him because he put he lowered his phone and faced him.

“Did you want something?”

Phil was taken aback by the hostility in his voice but pushed it aside.

“Did _you_ want something?” Phil replied. He wasn’t being rude, just simply curious. The boy had stopped his music and taken out his headphones to talk, yet he wasn’t.

Dan narrowed his chocolate brown eyes. He opened his mouth, possibly to snap at Phil, when he was interrupted by the sound of the door opening and light laughter. Both boys looked to see who it was, and Phil wondered how he hadn’t heard Dan coming in.

A slim boy was shoved in the classroom, quickly followed a taller boy who had shoved him.

“You’re awful,” the second boy groaned, making the first boy laugh again.

“You shouldn’t have said anything then,” the first boy replied in a teasing tone.

His companion ignored him and took a seat near the middle, not far from where Phil sat. The first boy shook his head and followed him, catching Phil’s eye as he went to sit down. He straightened up and moved past the desk, making his way over, his friend turning in his seat to watch. Phil smiled at the vaguely familiar boy as he came to stand in front of his desk.

“You’re Phil, the new kid?” the boy demanded, his light grey eyes flicking to Dan.

Phil laughed and nodded.

“That’s me,” he said.

“I’m in your maths class. I’m Troye,” the boy said, sticking his hand out.

Phil shook it as he remembered the maths class. The only thing he had been aware of was the fact that he was fifteen minutes late, and that the class was very obviously ahead of Phil’s old school.

“Nice to meet you,” Phil said politely, letting Troye withdraw his hand and picking up his pencil with his now-free one just to hold something.

He heard a nearly silent huff and he glanced to his right to see Dan shove his headphones back in his ears. He looked back at Troye who had followed his gaze, and was now looked a bit nervous. Phil didn’t question it.

“So how was it? Yesterday, I mean,” Troye asked, turning his attention back to Phil.

“Uh, hard,” Phil admitted, “my old school was less…advanced. I have a lot of catching up to do.”

“It sucks that it’s already half way through the year,” Troye added with a sympathetic look.

“Oh my god, I know,” Phil said, rolling his eyes, “I couldn’t have picked a worse time. Anyway, I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

Troye smiled brightly.

“That’s the attitude,” he said, reminding Phil of his friend from his old school. _I should see him again sometime,_ he thought.

“So, have you made friends and stuff like that?” Troye asked, bringing Phil back to the present.

Behind Troye, the door opened again and a group of girls came in, talking loudly and taking their seats.

“You sound like my mum,” Phil joked.

Troye laughed quietly and shrugged.

“Just want to look out for the new kids, ya know? I only started last year but mostly everyone else had been here for years. I was just lucky that it seemed to be the year for moving, ‘coz there were a few other kids starting too. The teachers took pity on us and we had to do the whole introducing ourselves thing in every class.”

While Troye talked, more and more people were starting to arrive and filling up the classroom. Phil hadn’t even noticed that the class was about to start any minute.

“Lucky you,” Phil agreed.

“Anyway, I’ll see you around.”

Troye grinned before turning around and walking back to his friend who waved at Phil then started listening to whatever Troye was saying.

“Thank god _he’s_ gone,” Dan grumbled.

Phil raised his eyebrows in surprise and turned to Dan. His soft featured face held a sour expression and he was looking at Troye with distaste.

“I thought he was nice,” Phil stated cheerfully, not letting Dan’s unfriendliness get to him.

“I thought he was obnoxious,” Dan said, mocking Phil’s tone. “You didn’t ask for his life story.”

Phil was completely baffled by Dan’s comments.

“You just have to give people a chance. You shouldn’t judge a person without knowing them,” he said lightly.

Dan clenched his jaw and jammed his headphones back in his ears roughly, turning his body away slightly as if to block Phil out. The bell went off at the same time the loud music started. Phil sighed, feeling oddly defeated that he hadn’t been able to engage in friendly conversation with the boy. _Some people just aren’t nice._ Yet he hadn’t _not_ been nice. Just unfriendly. But Phil repeated in his mind what he had told the boy, the words he lived by when it came to strangers. _You shouldn’t judge a person without knowing them._


	2. Friends

Despite Phil’s sunny personality and unfaltering optimism, he quickly found that Dan was the most difficult person to get to know that Phil had ever met. He also found that no matter how many times he reminded himself to give everyone a chance, his hopes of getting the boy to say something that wasn’t snappy, moody, or sarcastic, were dying with every interaction. It was like he didn’t have a friendly bone in his body.

As he puzzled over the question in his biology textbook, his thoughts started to drift to the person beside him. He had no idea what was urging him to pursue this for so long. Had anyone else acted as moody and hostile as Dan, Phil would have chalked it up to a bad day and simply send them a smile, silently wishing for their day to get better. He had done just that when English had finally finished and he made his way to Algebra with Troye. He had noticed Dan was sitting in the back and Phil turned around to smile warmly at him. The brunet simply scowled and chosen to ignore him.

When the bell had signaled the first lunch break, Troye turned to him.

“Come on, I’ll introduce you to my friends,” he offered.

Phil agreed brightly and Troye had led him to the cafeteria. After grabbing their food, the pair made their way through the open glass door to outside. There was a small shaded area on the concrete to the left with three table underneath it, but Troye turned left to an open grassy field. From where they stood, Phil could already hear loud voices coming from a group of people sitting in a loosely formed circle. Troye didn’t hesitate to approach them, Phil following closely behind.

“Hey, you’re the kid from English,” a tall boy announced. Phil recognized him as the one Troye had sat with in their first class.

“That’s me,” Phil grinned.

“I’m Chris. I’m the leader of these sad saps. Make sure they don’t get into trouble, and all.”

Everybody burst into laughter, into Chris.

“He’s the comedian, if anything,” a girl informed Phil with a friendly smile.

Phil smiled back, already liking this girl. A light, glittery green ribbon held her blonde hair back in a ponytail, and when she turned to point to the small girl next to her, he could see the tips were a bright pink. The girl was bubbly and Phil could tell they were going to be friends.

“This is Hazel,” the girl said, flourishing her hands in a dramatic show. Hazel waved and gave him a cute smile. “ _She’s_ the one who keeps everyone in line. You should have seen her when she found out Chris got detention for sassing a teacher. Don’t let her adorable accent fool you; she can be scary when she wants to be,” the blonde girl continued.

“Louise!” Hazel exclaimed, tilting her head back slightly when she laughed.

Just from the one word, Phil could hear the strength of an Irish accent. He found himself enjoying listening to it as she took over the introductions from the blonde girl, now identified as Louise.

“Anyway, this is Zoe,” Hazel said, gesturing to the girl sitting opposite her, hand in hand with a boy that was lying on his back, propped up on one elbow so he could face the group.

“And that’s her boyfriend Alfie.”

“Hey,” Zoe said cheerfully.

“Hey, mate,” Alfie greeted.

“Hey,” Phil replied, looking around at all of them.

He noticed Troye had sat down next to Chris so he squeezed beside Zoe, Louise shuffling closer to Hazel to give him room.

“So how did Troye manage to convince you to hang with us losers?” Chris joked.

“Speak for yourself Chris, people actually enjoy _our_ company,” Hazel shot sassily.

“Ooh, sick burn, Hazel,” Alfie smirked, lifting himself from his elbow so he air-fist bump Hazel.

“I hate all of you,” Chris sulked, making everyone, including Phil, laugh again.

Phil found himself fitting in perfectly with the group of friends, and he slipped easily into light banter with them. They all accepted him without question, and he had to admit, they were all fairly easy on the eye.

Throughout the day though, Phil realized how many classes he shared with Dan. In fact, out of the six periods, they had five together. At first, he was unsure of himself. After leaving Troye and Chris, who at the first lunch break had both explained guiltily that they didn’t take World History, he had made his way to the classroom. He walked in confidently with Louise but faltered when he saw Dan hidden at the very back of the classroom, headphones blaring the same music as before. Before he could decide what to do, he muttered a quick ‘see you later’ to Louise, and his feet were moving him forwards. He dropped into the empty seat to Dan’s left.

“There are at least ten other free desks. Sit in one of them,” Dan growled, not looking up or pausing his music.

“I like it here,” Phil replied happily, meeting Dan’s eyes when he finally gave Phil his attention. Dan hadn’t protested, just rolled his eyes and went on to ignore Phil the entire lesson.

Rather than be discouraged by Dan’s attitude, it prompted Phil to sit next to him in the next lesson which lacked Troye and Chris. Dan had been the first to leave History so Phil had the upper-hand once again, and once again Dan hadn’t protest with any more than a scowl and a roll of his eyes.

This led him to where he was now. Sitting in the back with Dan in the desk to his right, and Chris shooting him confused glances from the front of the class every so often. He had turned down his offer to sit with Dan, leaving Chris to sit next to Zoe.

He wished he knew what it was that made him sit next to Dan at every opportunity he could, knowing he would get nothing but an angry look and loud music. He felt no emotion for the moody boy. Sure, he couldn’t deny Dan was attractive, but it wasn’t like he had an overwhelming desire to kiss him or anything. No, there wasn’t anything of that sort. There was barely anything at all. But as Phil looked away from his textbook to watch Dan neglecting his work in favour of his phone once again, he realised there was something. When looking at Dan, he felt a subtle sadness. Whatever went on in the other’s mind, it wasn’t fields of daisies and clear blue skies. Past the anger and hostility was a certain unhappiness that Phil wanted to eradicate. He couldn’t say how he knew, since he had only just met the boy that day, but he just _knew_ that it was more than a bad day. His sadness ran deep. And when the final bell rang and Dan raced out of the classroom with his head down, Phil also knew one more thing. There was no way he could walk away from Dan’s suffering.

 

~~~~~~~

 

As the front door slammed behind Phil, his mum popped her head out of the kitchen doorway.

“Hey honey,” she smiled, her light hair escaping the messy bun to fall in wisps in front of her face. She brushed a bit aside, streaking flour on her cheek.

“Hey,” he said, smiling back.

He dumped his bag next to the door and followed her back inside the kitchen. She stood in front of the flour covered bench kneading a ball of dough, pausing when Phil wrapped one arm lightly around her shoulders.

“How was work?” he asked, making sure she wasn’t looking.

“It was pretty good. I’m still getting used to having employees though. But they’re all so lovely! There’s this one young lady who I think – hey!” she exclaimed, making Phil freeze. He turned to face her with a guilty expression, a chocolate chip cookie just centimeters from his mouth.

“What,” he said, looking like a deer caught in headlights.

“Hands off my cookies!” she chided, smacking his hand away which was hovering over the tray ready to swipe another one. “They’re still hot.”

“But that’s when they’re best!” Phil protested.

His mum frowned at him and tried to look stern, but her lips tugged into a smile and she burst into laughter, shaking her head at her son. Phil bit back a smile and tried to look innocent as he quickly shoved the entire cookie into his mouth. His mum just sighed and looked at him, unable to keep the fondness from her expression.

“So?” she prompted.

Phil’s mouth was full so he held up two thumbs and nodded his head.

“They’re amazing,” he mumbled, his words muffled.

“Well enjoy it, since that’s the last one you’re getting. I’m taking them to work tomorrow for the break room,” she explained, turning back to her scone dough.

“Mum, you don’t have to soften them up. It’s been a week, they probably already love you,” Phil assured.

She paused and looked over her shoulder at him, having to tilt her head up since he was already taller than her. Phil felt his heart soften at the uncertainty on her face.

“I just want to make sure they don’t think I’m going to come in and step on any toes,” she sighed.

Phil held out his arms and his mum stepped into them, wrapping her arms around his neck. He made small circular motions on her back, calming her in the same way she used to calm him.

“It’s gonna be okay, mum. Just give it a few days, you’ll see,” he murmured.

She stepped back and patted his cheek gently.

“What would I ever do without you?” she wondered, her bright blue eyes misting over.

“You won’t have to know any time soon, I promise,” he said with a gentle smile.

She returned the smile somewhat weakly and turned back to the bench, her hand brushing her cheek. Phil stood in the kitchen for a moment, unsure. Deciding to forget what had just occurred, he went upstairs to his bedroom, grabbing his school bag on the way. Leaving the bedroom door open, a new habit he had picked up recently, he made himself comfortable at his desk and reached into his bag, fishing around for his Biology textbook. Considering that he hadn’t paid much attention in the class, he figured he should do some of the reading and exercises. After all, he couldn’t get on the class’s level by slacking.

 

~~~~~~~  


The soft tweet of a bird rose above the sound of quiet music. Phil broke away from his studies to retrieve the phone that sat on the small table by his bed. Normally he didn’t let his phone distract him, but there was a limit to how much study a person can do in a night, and he reached his as he passed the three-hour mark. He unlocked the phone, happy to see the message was from his long-time friend.

> **Flower Prince:**
> 
> _You better not have forgotten me already, Lester [7.37pm]_

Phil grinned and lay on his back sprawled on the bed.

> **Nerd:**
> 
> _Who could ever forget you? ;) [7.37pm]_
> 
> **Flower Prince:**
> 
> _Sorry, I’m taken. And your shameless flirting won’t tear me away from my love [7.37pm]_
> 
> **Nerd:**
> 
> _I will fight to the death for your hand, my prince [7.38pm]_
> 
> **Flower Prince:**
> 
> _Okay, that’s it. I’m changing the name [7.38pm]_
> 
> Flower Prince changed his name to BAMF [7.38pm]
> 
> **Nerd:**
> 
> _Oh my god, like you could pull off a leather jacket. It would probably protest and run away, or turn into a Patrick Stump style cardigan, you softie [7.38pm]_
> 
> **BAMF:**
> 
> _You’re one to talk. Was it not you that brought a fricking kitten to school just to cheer up that girl that was crying when she failed a test? You said, and I quote, ‘It made me so happy to see her smile like that.’ You then went on to say how if you took over the world you would make it so that sadness didn’t exist like you were god or something [7.39pm]_
> 
> **Nerd:**
> 
> _Hey, I was like, 10! Anyway, you can’t tell me that it didn’t warm your little heart to see her stop crying [7.39pm]_
> 
> **BAMF:**
> 
> _She thought you wanted to be her boyfriend. Poor, disillusioned girl [7.39pm]_
> 
> **BAMF:**
> 
> _Anyway, onto the more important stuff…found anybody nearly as brilliant as me? [7.39pm]_

Phil bit his lip, staring at the screen. Should he mention Dan? Maybe his friend could shed some light on the situation. He always had a knack of knowing Phil’s inner mind better than himself.

> **Nerd:**
> 
> _Well, there is one person, but I don’t think you would like him… [7.40pm]_
> 
> **BAMF:**
> 
> _… [7.40PM]_
> 
> **BAMF:**
> 
> _Why would I not like him Phil [7.40pm]_
> 
> **Nerd:**
> 
> _Well… [7.40pm]_
> 
> **Nerd:**
> 
> _You know how I said you’re the most amazingest, incredible person ever? [7.40pm]_
> 
> **Nerd:**
> 
> _I think he’s what you would refer to as ‘the competition’ [7.40pm]_
> 
> Nerd changed BAMF’s nickname to Pastel Boy [7.40pm]
> 
> **Pastel Boy:**
> 
> _Hey! Nobody can rival me. I demand to meet this mysterious person that think they can upstage me. What’s his name? I need to find this punk [7.40pm]_
> 
> **Nerd:**
> 
> _Aw, you’re cute when you’re jealous ;) Haha, his name is Troye, and seems pretty cool [7.41pm]_
> 
> **Pastel Boy:**
> 
> _Nobody takes my place as best friend [7.41pm]_
> 
> **Nerd:**
> 
> _I’ve known him for all of a day Peej, don’t worry. I couldn’t replace you if I tried [7.41pm]_
> 
> **Pastel Boy:**
> 
> _Same goes to you, you know. I gtg, my parents are dragging me to a dinner party thing. On a Tuesday. Wtf, right? [7.41pm]_
> 
> **Nerd:**
> 
> _What, why even. Maybe Friday’s are too wild for them. Have fun ;) You better be online tomorrow [7.41pm]_
> 
> **Pastel Boy:**
> 
> _Ofc, you nerd. See ya :) [7.42pm]_

The green bubble next to PJ’s icon disappeared, leaving Phil to close the app and scroll through Tumblr instead. Eventually he lost interest, so he changed into pajamas and cleared his desk, packing all of his things back into his bag for the next day. With little else to do, he climbed into bed and closed his eyes.


	3. Jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a bit short   
> Comments are welcome :D

Phil sang cheerfully as he walked to school. Since he lived in town, there were people on the streets already, despite it being just past 8 in the morning. As a few grumpy looking people started to look at him when he passed. He recognized those looks. It was the same one his old friends would give him when he would talk loudly or act energetically on the bus. They would try to shut him up, telling him it should be illegal to be that cheerful and awake before 9 o’clock. He would just laugh and wait for them to wake up properly.

Getting these looks now, he dropped his voice to a quiet hum. He couldn’t help it; he was looking forward to the day. It would be nice to see his new friends again. Even Dan.

When he arrived, he couldn’t see anybody he knew so he just slipped inside and headed towards his first class. To his surprise, it was almost nearly full, despite their being at least ten minutes before it was due to start. Looking around, he noticed Hazel sitting in the middle, chatting away to a boy he hadn’t seen before. For some odd reason, seeing this, he walked confidently over and took the empty seat on the other side of her, planning to wait for a pause in their conversation.

Before he could, Hazel had already stopped talking and turned to him.

“Hey,” she smiled.

“Hey,” he replied, ignoring the weird way it had made him feel warm to hear her greeting.

“This is Jack,” she said, leaning back in her chair so Phil could see the handsome boy that Hazel was talking to. “Jack, this is Phil. He’s new.”

“Nice to meet you,” Jack said, reaching out a hand that Phil shook.

“I didn’t know you took this class,” he said, addressing Hazel. “I didn’t see you there yesterday.”

“I transferred out of Economics,” she explained.

“Not surprising,” he joked, smiling when he heard her laugh.

When the teacher finally arrived with a stern look on his face, he snapped for everyone to be quiet, before setting up the lesson. The class stopped talking, and Phil was disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to hear Hazel’s voice. But when she rolled her eyes and smiled at Phil, his heart leaped just a tiny bit, and it didn’t matter.

 

~~~~~~

 

“See ya,” Hazel called, disappearing in the crowded corridor.

Phil started walking to English class, Jack still beside him. Halfway down the hall, Jack broke away with a loud ‘bye!’ and Phil watched him stop beside a girl leaning against a locker. He looked away just as the two kissed. He told himself he was only happy because they were. It had nothing to do with Hazel.

Upon entering English class, he discovered Troye sitting alone. Troye saw him and waved him closer.

“Chris isn’t here today, so you don’t have to sit with Howell,” Troye said.

Confused by the name, Troye glanced behind him to where Dan was sitting in the same spot as yesterday, the desk closest to the window on the right. Phil felt a twinge of satisfaction and learning his name. Daniel Howell.

Speaking of, just as Phil was staring, the boy looked right up at him. Something flickered over his face, almost a mix of curiosity and hope. Phil couldn’t take his eyes off the cute mystery and said mystery stared back, almost challengingly. Like he was daring Phil to come over. Phil had only taken one step before he was stopped by a hand on his arm. He looked down to see Troye scribbling something with his free hand. Phil watched curiously and Troye shifted the paper so Phil could read it.

_He’s bad news. Stay away from him._

Phil scoffed loudly without meaning too. Troye’s eyes widened and Phil felt guilty.

“Sorry. It’s just that I don’t even know him yet. Thanks for looking out for me, but it’s fine,” Phil said, his voice grateful but firm.

Troye looked doubtful but let go of his arm and let him walk away. As he sat down next to Dan, he realized the boy hadn’t looked away yet. There was a strange glimmer, something Phil would have described as awe, but it was out of place on Dan’s scowl.

“Domestics?” Dan sneered.

“Didn’t know he was gay,” Phil joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Dan shifted awkwardly.

“Oh,” he muttered.

“He is, then?” Phil asked. He knew he shouldn’t be asking anybody other than Troye himself, but it was Dan who had brought it up, and Phil was curious.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Dan spat.

Phil was growing uncomfortable with the way Dan was acting about the situation. Sure, Phil wanted to give him a chance, and there was something that made Phil almost _need_ to get to know him, he knew Dan’s answer to his next question could possibly that need.

“Is that a problem?” he asked quietly, holding Dan’s gaze.

A look of shock crossed Dan’s face and it seemed he didn’t know what to say.

“No, of course not,” Dan blurted out, losing his tough-guy exterior. “I may be a dick, but even I’m not that bad.”

“I’m sure you’re not bad at all,” Phil replied with a smile.

Dan frowned with confusion.

“You don’t know me,” he muttered bitterly, biting down on his lip.

Even though the gesture was made out of negative emotions, Phil’s eyes followed the motion and he shocked himself but wishing it was him that was making the skin on his bottom lip go white. His eyes widened and he quickly focused his eyes on his English book, grateful when the teacher walked in. _What about Hazel?_ Maybe…

“Troye warned you off of me, didn’t he,” Dan said, stating rather than asking.

Phil hesitated, not sure what to say. Eventually he nodded, going for the truth.

“Why would he do that?” Phil asked.

“People don’t generally like me,” Dan said with a harsh laugh.

“Why not?” Phil pressed.

Dan looked at him like he was stupid.

“Forget about it,” Dan said, shaking his head.

Phil had a feeling he wouldn’t be able to just ‘forget about it’, but something told him not to push Dan. Behind his ‘don’t give a fluff’ demeanor, there was a certain vulnerability in his eyes that he probably wouldn’t appreciate Phil pointing out. He debated moving to sit with Troye to give Dan space, but he realized he couldn’t do that without looking like he was being mean. He noticed Dan looking at him from the corner of his eye, so he pulled out his books and tried to focus on the work. He certainly didn’t think about all the times he could see Dan gnawing on his bottom lip like he was nervous.


	4. A day for firsts

**CHAPTER 4~~~~~~~**

Phil isn’t new to, well, new. His life has consisted of new for the last three years. New school, new house, new friends, new environment, new surroundings, new feelings. What he wasn’t used to was firsts.

It had been three weeks since he started his new school and he was happy. He had easily caught up (though not without many late nights), he had made amazing friends, he was hosting PJ for the weekend, and everyone seemed to like him. Being ‘popular’ was never something Phil cared about. He wasn’t even entirely sure of the exact definition. But everyone smiled at him and said hello when he passed them in the corridor. Even though he didn’t hang out with the kids who thought they ruled the school, he got invited to parties with the friends he did hang out with. Nobody seemed to have a problem with him.

When he was walking to school on Wednesday morning, he wasn’t expecting it to be anything other than a normal school day. He wasn’t expecting a day of firsts. Had he known, he probably would have pondered how to avoid some of them and how to enjoy some of them. But instead, he was left to lie on his bed with his face buried in his pillows, wishing he hadn’t woken up.

His first ‘first’ could be described as nothing more than disappointing. It was the first time he realised he couldn’t get anywhere with Hazel. He had been working on a project in Psychology with her when he finally worked up the courage to ask her something. He’d been getting butterflies whenever he looked at her since they first met. He more than occasionally found himself making conversation just to hear her intoxicating voice. He couldn’t help but laugh louder when it was her making a joke, or making that little bit extra effort to see her smile. It doesn’t take a genius to see that he had a crush on Miss Hazel.

“Hazel?” he said.

She looked up and brushed a piece of hair away from her stunning eyes.

“Yeah?”

“I know we’ve only known each other for barely a month, but I was wondering if you would want to go on a date with me?” Phil asked, silently cursing himself for being awkward while simultaneously congratulating himself for not stuttering.

Hazel’s eyes went wide and she looked a bit shocked.

“Oh!” she exclaimed. “Well, I’m flattered, but you see, I haven’t told anyone, but I have a boyfriend. He’s a bit older than me and my parents would never approve so I have to keep him a secret. I’m so sorry Phil,” she said guiltily, glancing away.

Phil paused and couldn’t comprehend how he felt. Of course he was disappointed, and a tad upset, but he was also happy for her.

“Hey,” he said, causing her to turn back to him.

He smiled, letting her know there was no hard feelings.

“I won’t tell anyone about him,” he promised.

“Thank you,” Hazel said with an obvious sigh of relief.

~~~~~~~

During the day, he found that there was no awkwardness between them. He thought there might be a little bit, but he happily found none at all. He still laughed loudly at her jokes and wanted her to talk just to hear her voice, but the feelings were already gone. Her jokes were just funny, and her accent was just cool. He didn’t get butterflies, but rather a warm feeling that she was so happy.

It was only two hours into school when he came across his second ‘first’. Unlike the disappointment that came with Hazel, he was left stunned and amazed. It was the first time he got to see Dan smile. It was also the first time he saw he was making progress with him on the friend front. They were sitting together in biology as usual, with Chris and Zoe not so subtly spying on them and trying to eavesdrop.

Dan had gone from hostile glares and blaring music to expressionless stares and not bothering to pull his munted headphones from his jacket pocket. It was such a tempting invitation to make conversation that Phil took him up on it every lesson. Of course, he only got back small noncommittal noises and nearly imperceptible nods. Today however, was a day for firsts.

“Can you tell your friends to stop staring?” Dan grumbled, making Phil subconsciously lean closer to him so he could hear the other boy.

When Phil heard him, he looked to Chris’s table where Zoe and Chris were looking over their shoulders right at the pair. Zoe blushed and turned around back to her books.

‘What?’ Phil mouthed to Chris. Chris rolled his eyes and followed Zoe’s lead by turning around. Before he could turn to Dan, he felt a buzz in his pocket and pulled his phone out to see a message from Chris. He tapped in his passcode and went to messages.

**From Chris 11.17am:**

Dude, stop with Howell. He’ll ruin you

 

Phil frowned at the screen and tapped out a reply.

 

**To Chris 11.17am:**

Leave it, it’s fine.

 

He put his phone in his pocket and ignored the next five minutes of consistent buzzing and looked at Dan who was already looking at him.

“I’m not a good person,” Dan said seriously.

“I don’t believe that,” Phil said gently.

“You don’t know me.”

“Let me get to know you,” Phil said shyly.

Dan looked stunned, as if he’d never heard anything like it before.

“I don’t –,” he started.

“It’s okay, it was probably a bit weird, sorry,” Phil rushed to say.

“No it’s not that. It’s just, I’m not really experienced with the whole friend. I’ve only ever really had one and that sort of went sour at the start of the year,” Dan admitted, looking away from Phil in embarrassment.

“Hey, it’s fine,” Phil assured, “I’m the same. I have a best friend from my old home, PJ, and that’s it. But I’ve always been happy with just him, you know? I haven’t needed anyone else. But it’s always nice to have a few friends.”

Dan looked at him.

“How did you only have one friend? You’re so…nice. And friendly, and happy, and just…you,” Dan said, making hand gestured to emphasise his point.

Phil blushed at Dan’s description and shrugged.

“People liked me and I like them, but there wasn’t much to them. Ten years of getting to know them and they stayed so boring, as mean as it sounds. They didn’t have dreams, wishes, desires. They were happy to grow old in that little town. The boys wanted to raise their kids with football and the girls wanted to be the perfect wives for their future husbands. They were happy with letting their parents set them up with their own old friends’ children.” Phil made a face of distaste. “Me and Peej, we were gonna leave. He’s still going to once he graduates. Everyone looks at him like he’s crazy. But he wants to be in New York, making films. He can do it, he’s so creative and smart.”

He suddenly felt embarrassed at having spilled all his thoughts to the boy who was hesitant enough to be his friend. He stared at his book, wishing he could take it all back.

“And what about you?”

At Dan’s quiet voice, he looked up. Dan was leaning close, his face wistful.

“Me? I want to go to London. I know it’s not far, nothing like New York,” he said sheepishly, “but I went there once for – I went there and I sort of fell in love with the idea of living there one day.”

“But what do you want to do?” Dan asked. Phil was pleasantly surprised that Dan appeared interested in what Phil had to say. It was almost like they were becoming friends, Phil thought with a smile.

“I’m not sure yet,” Phil mumbled dishonestly. “What about you?”

Dan dropped his gaze to his work and shrugged.

“You’ll laugh, it sounds stupid,” he laughed nervously.

“I won’t laugh, promise,” Phil reassured.

Dan hesitated, biting his lip again.

“I sort of…wannabeanactorbutI’mtoonervous,” he rushed.

Phil blinked, waiting for his brain to decipher Dan’s rushed words.

“Oh!” he said, finally understanding, “that’s not stupid at all. I’m sure a lot of people are nervous, but doesn’t being scared let you know you’re on to something important? Do you take Drama?”

Dan shook his head, looking embarrassed again.

“There’s only one Drama class and it’s the same time as Music. Besides, people get teased for doing Drama.”

“You shouldn’t let what other people think of you stop you from doing what you want or being who you want,” Phil advised with a small frown.

Dan met his eyes and for the first time, Phil saw the corners of his lips raise in a genuine smile. _Oh my god._ Phil stared at the corner of his mouth, noticing a dimple appear with Dan’s smile. Dan bit his lip and cleared his throat, suddenly uncomfortable, probably because of Phil’s intense gaze.

“Sorry,” Phil blushed.

Dan smiled again, wider this time, making Phil’s heart flutter. Damn. He wished he could see that sight more often.

~~~~~~

Dan was another of his firsts. They had spent the entire class pleasantly figuring out how much they had in common. Phil grinned when he learnt how much of a nerd Dan was under the leather jacket and cigarette packets.

“I could own you in Mario Kart,” Dan scoffed.

“You’re gonna have to prove it,” Phil challenged with a grin.

“I’d be happy to,” Dan smirked.

Phil was about to reply when he happened to glance at the clock at the front of the classroom.

“Oh, shhhine a light, I’m already late,” he groaned. He quickly shoved all of his books into his bag and stood up. “Sorry, I have to go,” he said, turning to Dan who was watching him with interest. He grabbed a loose pen from his desk and scribbled down his number on Dan’s book.

“Where do you go all the time? You’re not going to be late to your next class. Thinking of it actually, you’re always late to English on Mondays,” Dan said, frowning.

Phil paused and put the pen down. He cocked his head and studied Dan. Nobody had asked him that before. In fact, it was the first time anybody had noticed.

“I just have…,” Phil trailed off, “I’m gonna be late, I’ll tell you after lunch.” He left, but not without shooting Dan another grin.

Phil never did tell Dan where he went. Perhaps it was because they spent World History and Algebra in silence, despite Dan’s attempts to ask Phil what was wrong. But how could Phil tell Dan about the first time he was bullied at this school?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for your comments :) It's not discontinued, I'm just having a hard time writing at the moment. Sorry it took so long, and it's a bit crap. The first half is important but the second half is sort of a filler coz I didn't know what to write. Trigger warning for bullying and homophobic slurs

Phil rushed down the hallway, not wanting to be late to his next class that was held at the local university. He would have told Dan about it, but he didn’t want to seem like he was making a big deal out of it. His mother would probably disagree and say that having to take an advanced class at a university is a big deal, but Phil was almost embarrassed by it.

“Hey, Phil,” someone called.

Phil stopped and looked over his shoulder to see Brad and Derek coming his way.

“Hey guys,” Phil said cheerfully, turning around to face them.

They said nothing as they approached and when they reached him, they went to either side of him.

“You’re a cool guy Phil,” Derek started.

Phil tilted his head in confusion.

“Thank you,” he said, almost like a question.

“Yeah, but see, the thing is that there’s a little rumour going around about you,” Brad continued.

This confused Phil even more. He knew people liked him well enough but he didn’t realise he had enough attention to have rumours started about him.

“And what would that be?” Phil asked curiously, knowing he shouldn’t be asking.

Brad and Derek paused to look at each other a little hesitantly.

“We heard you were…gay,” Derek said.

Phil looked at him before laughing lightly.

“Oh, no,” he said, giving them a small smile. He didn’t notice the relief on their faces before he continued. “I’m bi.”

Brad tensed up and Derek’s face turned angry.

“But you like boys?” Derek demanded.

“Not _all_ boys, obviously,” Phil said. One in particular came to mind, and he had to shake the brown-haired boy out of his mind.

“But you would let a boy fuck you,” Brad said blatantly.

Phil grimaced at the crudeness and instantly felt uncomfortable.

“Probably not,” he said honestly.

“But you would fuck them? Would you fuck us?” Brad kept going, his voice showing disgust and anger. Phil himself was starting to get angry.

“Would you to do that to me? No.”

“Are you calling us gay?”

“Is there something wrong with that?”

“Yes, actually, there is. Faggots aren’t welcome here,” Derek growled.

“First of all, that’s a horrible word. Second of all, I’m not gay, I’m bi. And lastly, if I were it wouldn’t change anything or affect you. I’m not ashamed of anything,” Phil declared. “Now, unless you’re _wanting_ something, if you know what I mean, I’ll be on my way.”

He turned to walk away, proud of himself for standing up to himself, not feeling guilty in the least. He realised how stupid he was though when he felt a heavy hand on his shoulder spinning him around. He didn’t have time to react before he felt a dull blow to his cheek then a stinging pain in his lip. His nose turned numb and he stumbled back. Derek laughed harshly while Brad slammed Phil into a locker, making his head hit the metal. His vision went blurry and over the ringing of his ears he could hear them walking away, but not without a few homophobic slurs that hurt more than the hits he had taken.

Bracing himself against the locker, determined not to slip to the ground, he realised he didn’t have long until everyone would be coming out of the classrooms. He rushed to the closest bathroom, ignoring the light-headed feeling he was getting. The mirror made him want to walk straight out. His bottom lip had split on the right and his nose was starting to bleed. There was nothing to show on his cheek except for a small cut where the skin had broken but it was aching so there was bound to be a bruise later on. He washed his lip quickly, wincing at the pain. He ripped a few paper towels from the dispenser and held it up to his nose. Rushing out to beat the bell, he made it out of the school in double time, getting odd looks as he took the short journey to the university where he threw away the paper towels soaked in blood.

~~~~~~~~~

“What the hell happened to you?” Dan demanded.

Phil looked up to see Dan studying his face like a hawk. He forced a light laugh and waved his hand dismissively.

“I’m an extremely clumsy person which I’m surprised you don’t know already,” he said airily.

“But what happened?”

Pushing aside his surprise at Dan’s interest (or concern?), he tried to spin a lie.

“I went home during lunch and I was nearly late back so I was rushing, and fell down the stairs. I hit my head on the wall. Clumsiness will be the death of me, I swear,” he laughed, faintly recognising that he was rambling.

Dan rolled his eyes and gave him a faint smile.

“I do know, considering you’re knocking something off the desk every two seconds,” he pretended to grumble. Phil saw right through it and grinned.

“Hey, you’re just as clumsy, mister. You knock things off too. And don’t think I didn’t see you nearly fall out of your chair the other day,” he teased.

Dan laughed, a sound that made Phil’s heart jump. There was no way he was going to tell Dan what happened.

“So, where did you disappear to earlier?” Dan asked.

Phil made a mumbled excuse before turning back to his work, not sure whether to be relieved or discouraged that Dan dropped the matter.


End file.
